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[Apr. 28th, 2011|10:57 am] |
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I have so much to tell you but will you ever listen without giving the so? Face and appear that get it over and done with attitude. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 27th, 2011|12:56 pm] |
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its the first time im in a world of mine without love.
it feels empty.
it feels numb.
i dont know how should i feel.
what stage are we in.
i look at his pictures everytime.
i reread his last message of declaration to me again and again.
i feel that im at wits end.
hope you come back soon.
i hate this feeling. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2011|11:19 pm] |
so its just one final week to the start of DOC, and yes im back from KL with bby. currently, am rushing my portfolio presentation to lecturers and finding for an intern. gets on my nerves pretty bad as im a person who worries about every single thing.
had an awesome time at jane's chalet at NSRCC with the girls and baby joining us in cooking and almost everything. had our morning/afternoon swim in the pool leaving me with tanlines homg. D: not cool at all. but all was fun and smelling of chlorine is indeed not appealing. :/its just one of the days when im absolutely tired and wishing, just hoping i can lay my thoughts down, everything on hand and just chill all i want. the thought of having starbucks and listening to some awesome music, closing my eyes, chill and relax in the gentle breeze. tempting but wait till i graduate and having all these load off my back. am tired of life. really. i need a rest. and i dont know why am i always pushing myself so hard for. why? and i have yet to find my answer. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 27th, 2011|02:40 am] |
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so its like the holidays now, and im just packed during this precious one month when i can complete things i hadn't find the time to do, or basically just to rest and relax from those workload in school. apparently, this year's end of year holidays is just as packed. D:
monday will be spent with andrea, yiliang and mia-ed jovina for some girl time out to chill and catch up. (: but early morning i have to return back to school to collect assignments ans submit advanced draping picture at 8 freaking am. zomg. -.-
and then it will be the start of dotc2! for the next 3 days.
followed by my portfolio photoshoots on the first 2 days of april. 1april will be jolene's and steph's dance concert at 7! heading with bby and jane. and the 3 april morning will be flying of to KL with baby! till the 6april. will be doing sourcing there as well.
and 7 april will be the start of tutoring my new student.
8 april will be start of design show when there is a fashion show at vivo presenting the graduates' work. BE THERE TO WATCH KAY!
15 april will be baby's tp and from 17 to 21 april will be the actual DOC. the gap of 1 week is for me to do things i need to do. D:
send my dog for grooming, collect his tidbits through points. pack my room. consolidate my portfolio. edit all cover letters and resume for intern. prepare for another flea maybe. D: and most importantly. sew up 21 bags for DOC identity! needa make a huge tote for myself. a toga dress as promised. and trying to use up all the leftover fabrics. :/
so im still packed.
and in the meantime. frantically waiting for my results. got a bad feeling this sem will drop badly. no As or distinctions. was expecting jap to get at least an A but was rushing for the other module that time i missed one lesson without valid reason. attendance is 92% which means i dont hit the 10% class participation no full marks?! omg. think it just pulled me down. so guess this sem gpa isnt goood. D:
needa slot in time to meet up with my clique! and to spend more time with baby, wont be that free in year 3 yaknow. D:
and aft which. it shows that time past really fast. counting, its almost 3 months officially with him aft the previous storm and i didnt realised it till now. and soon. i will graduate. and what am i going to do? D: should i continue studying and rush production work like mad?
always had this fantasy in me that i can rest and relax, having high tea with my friends with the not so hot singapore sun, more like with a cool breeze at some open air cafe. or at home (new home which means aft marriage) with open windows while enjoying a good home movie. (: but all these have to be worked hard for me to achieve it.
Taken some time back. absolutely love this picture. (: and love you loads baby. (:
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| i sincerely thanked god for you. |
[Mar. 1st, 2011|10:33 am] |
its just some of the times. when i reflect. and think about everything that has happened over the past few months.
in which. my confidence level is dropping damn badly. i have no idea why. girlfriends have been telling me to stop being so paranoid, that everyone have flaws. and no one is perfect. and highlighting the good in me. but still. the fear of doing something wrong might just cause you to leave. or maybe, im not as perfect as any girls out there. yet, im still striving to be the perfect one, not only for you, but for all my loved awesome friends who are always by my side whenever a tornado comes, or the sun is still bright ans shining. as said by someone before, your mood is like my weather. and i finally understood what it really means. cuz i felt it ever since you came into my life completely as my love.
hey dear, i appreciate everything you done for me. like really. i have seen your sincerity. and trying to meet me like everyday, and to do everything you could to prove that you changed. i know. i have seen. somewhere at the very bottom of my heart, im still paranoid or maybe its just the once bitten twice shy rule. that you may just be gone in a snap when i do something wrong that i never meant to. or maybe somewhere out there in the world. there's a girl that is much more better than me in every ways. i dont know what the future holds. but i know now that. im yours completely. even though you always say you dont belong to anyone. to me, you belong to me. but at least let me believe that.
and yes, im sorry i hurt you at times. i really didnt mean to. and at times when you feel suffocating.i know ii failed as a terrible girlfriend, but im trying my very best. sometimes its just me. im not any other girl who is gentle and sweet like a bunny kind. im rah rah crazy loud type but im trying to tone down.
its just something i wish i coud tell you but couldnt in words. honestly. i thanked god for bringing you into my life and if i can, and if god allows, i dont want to let go of you neither do i want to lost sight of you. thanks baby for everything, you are the most awesome thing that ever happened in my life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 1st, 2011|12:22 am] |
okay i think i totally failed as a gf.
one is that the internet kept tripping which annoys the hell out of me.
met so many weird things that totally ruin my day dk x how many.
angsty ttm.
but still. i tried my best to do my job.
and i think i failed.
all the songs are driving me nuts.
idk which is which. kill me please. |
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